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Auchter's Art: Expressions that don't exist

A three-panel comic titled “Expressions That Don’t Exist…”

Panel 1 shows two people standing in a gray, snowy scene under a banner reading “The sunshine of a Michigan December.” One person asks, “Is it night or day?” The other replies, “There’s no way to tell.”

Panel 2 shows a business executive sitting on large piles of money with a cigar, under a banner that says “The guarantee of a corporate tax break.” A worker says, “But… but you promised thousands of high-paying jobs.” The executive responds, “Sure! But first I promised shareholders a stock buyback!”

Panel 3 shows two college football fans under a banner reading “The integrity of a college football coach.” A University of Michigan fan says, “Ha! Remember when your football coach got sacked for an illicit affair!” A Michigan State fan looks at his phone, thinking, “In 3… 2… 1…” as a news alert pops up reading, “Sherrone Moore fired from…”
John Auchter
/
For Michigan Public

The firing of the University of Michigan football coach was very much a developing story as I came up to my deadline, so I didn't want to try to speak to the particulars of the Sherrone Moore case. But I do feel like I'm on solid ground in asking the question: What the #@&*% is wrong with college football coaches?

It goes well beyond the apparent terrible decision-making of Moore and Michigan State's Mel Tucker. The past few years have been a complete parade of dishonesty, hypocrisy, greed, deceit, and exceptionally unprincipled behavior. I'm not going to bother to list the names and transgressions — suffice to say that Lane Kiffin is probably the poster child.

Sure, the men predisposed to being head coaches at major college programs have always been problematic. You give that much money and glory to an ego-driven man and then anoint him as deity, and you end up with Woody Hayes punching players and Joe Paterno turning a blind eye to worse.

But this recent spate. I mean, geez, at what point do proper universities decide that enough is enough? We know that the NCAA and the conferences are useless.

Editor's note: John Auchter is a freelance political cartoonist. His views are his own and do not necessarily reflect those of Michigan Public, its management, or its license holder, the University of Michigan.

Since 1995 John has created Michigan-based editorial cartoons for the Grand Rapids Business Journal, the Grand Rapids Press, and MLive Newspapers. His cartoons are currently featured at MichiganPublic.org and are syndicated to newspapers through the Michigan Press Association. John is an active member of the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists. You can view an archive of his editorial work and other cartoons at Auchtoon.com.
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